Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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