Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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