Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
