my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
