What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My life is pants optional.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
