Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
