Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize