I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
