Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
