hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
