I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
