i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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