Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
