I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i think im in europe. pls send help
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
