Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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