its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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