I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
