from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
