dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
