Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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