we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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