am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
