This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
