Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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