I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
