ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
