Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
