i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
