I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize