ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
