Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
