I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
