i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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