STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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