how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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