How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize