Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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