We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I puked a lego.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
