She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize