haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
