And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
