It's like God shit irony all over that family
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
