I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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