She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
