you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
