i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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