He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
