I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
