I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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