Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize