I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
