Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize