No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
