We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
