I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
