well I can't set my house on fire every night
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
