My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She swung at the pinata with crutches
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
