Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
