If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize