Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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